101 Kender Proverbs 101 Kender Proverbs (This list was compiled by Sean Macdonald, and was created for the Kencyclopedia.) (If you "borrow" a copy of this list please make sure I/sean get some credit for it.)
  • "Anywhere a rat can go, two kender will be."
  • "A kender family heirloom is anything that stays in the household for more than three weeks."
  • "The gods look after fools, children, and drunks, and kender counts for two out of those three." - Dwarven Saying
  • "The only good kender is a dead one." - just pick a race
  • "Kenderareveryusefulwhenyouneedthingsnotavaliabletognomes" - Gnomish saying
  • "Eye level for a kender is door-lock height for the same reason a chipmunk has extra cheek space."
  • "When a kender goes to sea the crew tends to eat well. Kenders make good bait." - Thurm Mastcracker (minotaur mariner)
  • "It's a common fact that kender will spontaneously combust if bound & gagged for more than 10 minutes." - Thurm Mastcracker (minotaur mariner)
  • "A kender is innocent. Yes, a snake is innocent too!"
  • "When in doubt, test it on a kender" - Locksmith or Black Robe Mage.
  • "How can you differ a theft from a kender? The theft only takes your steel." Typical Human.
  • "What's the best way to take care of a kender? Point him to the closes village, tell him of all the interesting things there and move to the opposite village." Any pesant
  • "The most horrible thing to do to a man is lock him up in an empty room with a kender." - Human Proverb
  • "A kender will take anything that's not nailed down, and a kender with a good claw hammer will get those things too" - Human Proverb
  • "Kender steal more before 6:00 am. than us hard working, human thieves steal all day." - Human Proverb
  • "No matter which side of the door the kender is on, it's the wrong side." - Ghisa Hilhome - Dwarven Saying
  • "Kender have remarkable luck. It's tragic, however, that their companions, as a rule, do not" - Auric Brightdawn
  • "RUN!!! THE KENDER JUST SAID 'OOPS!'"
  • "By the time you know a kender's there, it's too late." - Killian, an elven adventurer
  • "You want to stay away from kender? Hide yourself deep underground, or in an impassible mountain range; it doesn't matter where you are, just follow this simple advise: Don't lock the door!" - Killian, an elven adventurer
  • "May your hoopak swing true" - Than Gib
  • "The only useful pouch is a full one." - Kipper Snifferdoo
  • "New roads demand a hoopak."
  • "No road is ever old."
  • "Oops!" - kender saying
  • "I'm just along for the fun."
  • "Why insult a door's purpose by locking it?"
  • "Kenders are small because their meant to do small things, and It's the small things that make a difference."
  • "Anything easy is more trouble than it's worth." - Tasslehoff's Mother
  • "May your roads lead you to ever greater adventures!" - Doorslam
  • "May the path you travel always be a new one, (with a map of course)" - Topknot Swizlestick
  • "If the milk is spilt, the cat will lick it."
  • "Don't change the color to match the walls. Look like you belong and the walls will change color to match you."
  • "Empty pockets hold more." - Tasslehoff Burrfoot
  • "Sometimes you have to put the cat out of the house lock the door,put the key under the mat then head down the road."
  • "Some ones lost item is anothers good fortune."
  • "When you see a fork in the road, don't go left or right, it means someones been there before. You should go up the middle, That's where the adventure is." - Koochie Fuzzbucket.
  • "Mean people suck!" - Koochie Fuzzbucket
  • "Locks are like taunts, they can be useful sometimes, but insulting all the time." - Koochie Fuzzbucket
  • "If you're going to do something, do it the fun way." - Aeon Dragonfun
  • "All roads lead somewhere."
  • "Every path is the right path except when it's the left fork."
  • "Why use your good knife when you can find so many around" - Elighed Downtrotter
  • "A Kender without a Hoopak is like a door without a keyhole." - Adew Gatetaunter
  • " A chicken with its neck wrung is different then a chicken with its head cut off, but does it matter to the chicken? - Adew Gatetaunter
  • "May your pouch grow full and your taunts be creative!" - Adew Gatetaunter
  • "When you come to the point in your life whether it's either over or under,take the fun way..go around!" - Adew Gatetaunter
  • "Wherever you go, there you are." - Hoopaktwirler Tenderfoot
  • "Take it easy! Because if you don't, they might think your trying to steal it." - Kipper Snifferdoo
  • "Take it easy, and if you can get it easy, give it back to them and tell them to hide it properly." - Martin Feeney
  • "If you look at the big things in the world closely, you'll see that they're really made up of small things all joined together." - Tasselhoff Burrfoot
  • "If by the end of the day, you haven't found more than your pouches can carry, and you hadn't given fifty people back things that they've lost, and you haven't found eight new short cuts from one town to another, and you haven't been thrown out of ten different houses (each at least three times), and haven't been chased by a sercurity guard for as long as you can run, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TRYING HARD ENOUGH!" - Roadwalker Fullpouch
  • "Houses are made to be entered, roads made to be followed once (then you make a new one), trees are meant to be climbed, locks are made to be picked (they are just decorations for doors), interesting things in peoples' pockets are meant to be held (in case they lose it), and travellers are meant to be given a little "scare" (otherwise, their journey through the woods would be so boring). If you don't do what you're supposed to do with these things, then what's their purpose for existing?" - Roadwalker Fullpouch
  • "Old roads are boring if you've already walked on it. You're supposed to find new ones and add them to your map." - Roadwalker Fullpouch
  • "There is nothing more interesting than a closed door, unless it is a sleeping dragon." - Harold Johnson (aka the original Tasslehoff Burrfoot.)
  • "A world without kender is a world without fun." - Tanaquil Furrfoot
  • "A chicken with its head cut off is different than a chicken with its neck wrung but does it matter to the chicken?" - Tasslehoff's Grandfather
  • "If you keep an open mind, it'll get wet when it rains." - Thornberry Topknot
  • "Elves are rare because they're kenders that grew up." - Flop Twinkletoes
  • "If you can remove an unbreakable lock, it can be used to break other locks." This proverb is usually recited to young kender when they come of age and receive their first set of lock picking tools. - Only Thornbriar
  • "Never hit a minotaur on the head with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on his mind." - Blade Keykeeper
  • "If you keep your nose to the grindstone, you'll get a flat face." - Only Thornbriar
  • "A bird in the hand is better than one over your head." - Blade Keykeeper
  • "Anything not nailed down is there to admire. Anything I can pry up, is not nailed down." - Juniper Berrybane
  • "Theres nothing like ale from Solace." - Kenderkin Doodlewig
  • "Why have a bag full of dull old platinum when you can have a piece of pyrite blessed by gully dwarves?" - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "Small truths, and small deeds, enable the biggest ones." - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "If you carry your soul in your pouch, one day you'll lose it; keep it in you, instead." - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "May your wanders never cease." - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "If a friend accuses you of stealing, don't get mad; it's just their way of showing they care." - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "Dwarves hate elves and vice versa; Humans hate each other; Gnomes hate those who ridicule progress and gully dwarves hate rats, nd goblins hate everyone. Of all the races, only kender make friends everywhere." - Bramble Moonwillow
  • "A shell in the pouch is MUCH better than two under your bare feet." - Tanil
  • "The feet are never swifter that never have to run." -Bramble Moonwillow
  • "Taunt first, then ask questions." - Juniper Berrybane
  • "There's no such word as "lock" if a kender's around." - Tandit Loppertail
  • "Uncle Trapspringer knows best" - Tandit Loppertail
  • A kender travelling with a mage equals Cataclysm 2 - take your choice of races!
  • "Gut every Kender you meet and you'll find something lost last week." -Laurana Crystalthorn
  • Kender are meant to travel together. That's why no kender can know everything, they need to team up! - Juniper Berrybane
  • When a Kender says "Nobody seemed to want it." it means that nobody grabbed it quick enough. -Kith`jai, Faerie Elf Healer
  • A kender without curiosoty is like a priest without a god.
  • A road to anywhere starts with where you are-Brightangel Thistlesong
  • The road may be long, but it does not get any shorter standing around gossiping.
  • Its not stealing. Its surplus inventory reduction. -Brightangel Thistlesong.
  • I know what I like, and thats all that I like, and if I don't like something, give it away - Rattail Verminscourge
  • "Probably something truly dreadful over there somewhere," Chess decided. Maybe even a deathtrap for kender. I guess I had better go and see." Chestal Thicketsway
  • "When you come to a fork in the road, take it!" - Tila Tangleknot
  • "We are grown up...we're just the only ones who know how to do it happily." - Tila Tangleknot
  • "Nod and smile." -Swiftboot Woodchip
  • "with great power comes great responsibility...that's why they gave it to us kender!" -Swiftboot Woodchip
  • "A beard to a dwarf is like a road to a kender...The longer the better!" - Thistlehair Daggersnatcher
  • "One kender is a nuisance. Two kenders are trouble. Three kenders are a full scale castrophe. Four kenders are an apocalpyse."- Twyla Flipknot
  • "Life without imagination is a life without Kender (thats bad)" -Insane Dream, 1/3 kender bard
  • "If a Kender "steals" something from you feel honored. They don't take from the poor."
  • "The only home is the road and the road leads to many a homes which provide lots a food which in turn feeds us." -Perdan Thistlefoot
  • "May the minotaur never catch you" -Tanis Half-Elven, Dragons of Summer Flame
  • "Kenders are like mosquitoes; annoying, loud, and very easy to squash!"- Twyla flipknot
  • "May your roads be dangerous, and your pouches bulge." Termite Bugger
  • "The serious kender is a dangerous kender--luckily, there are very few serious kender" --- a red robed mage
  • "Set your face to the sun, your feet to the moons, and follow the wind."-The reply when someone asked a kender for directions.
  • "When you come to a fork in the road, don't go left or right, pull the fork out of the road and have a picnic" - Blackwood Fender